Halloween is Evil...

Who created this stupidly enjoyable holiday anyway? Was it created to scare away ghosts and gobblins by dressing up our little monsters, or was it really created by parents who are just too broke to buy their own candy?

I have my suspicions.

So I cry to you Mr. Halloween- You are evil and the chocolate you have brought into my home is blessedly cursed. All the work I've done in the last week is wasted. Wasted I tell you! Is this the information that helps you thrive??? Well just to let you know, I rebelled a little this year. My son didn't want to put on his costume, and my daughter... well, she was a fairy.

So take that Halloween! I may eat my chocolate (and I just might enjoy it) but I did it knowing that I got you back. No ghosts or gobblins were scared by me this night. Oh no. The only thing scared by me this year was my husband. And that dear stupid holiday is all thanks to you. Thanks to you and your blessedly evil chocolate.

*sigh* I feel a hard couple of weeks coming up.

xoxo- Nikki -aka- cookie monster.

Ps. The picture to the right shows the effects of a night filled with chocolate. Sugar high's are not good to me...

Another One Bites the Dust... (week 29/30)

So if you're wondering where on Earth I've been, I don't really have a good excuse. I think I've been feeling a little discouraged because of different people in my life and how slow this has turned out to be for me. Never-the-less... another one bites the dust!

For the first time in three years I'm below 238. I lost another pound this week! :) Yes that means I'm only at 237- but who cares! A POUND IS A POUND PEOPLE... and I'm VERY pleased with this new number on the scale. It IS safe to say I danced a little and shimmied alot when I looked down at that dreaded scale. Victory is mine I yelled out loud with my arms raised to the ceiling!!! ...Um perhaps not quite like that, but you get the picture right?! :)

Anyway, as you might have gathered from my last post I've been having a hard time. Someone dear to my heart had a minor heart attack over a week ago. At the time we didn't know what was happening and this person was transported from one hospital to another. It took hours and another day later to learn that he would be okay and is actually now hippidy hopping his way through life again. This doesn't change the fact that I had a very life changing moment when I got that phone call.

Comfort food and lots of crafting and designing seem to be what helped me get over my slump this week. I've done minor little cardio exercises but nothing extensive- hence my surprise to learn that I lost another pound. I guess implementing portion control into my life has really impacted and changed my life... one pound at a time. This pleases me because now I know that I'm not just going to bounce back to being overweight, but maintain a healthy lifestyle once I achieve this goal of mine.

But this leads me to another issue I've been trying to accept. I have a friend (she may or may not read this blog but a lot of you know who she is) who has been losing A LOT of weight recently. When I say a lot- I mean like 50 pounds in 3 months. Heck! It's taken me 6 months to lose 32... talk about an emotional battle. Now I don't want to offend anyone here, so please know before hand that I respect this individual and am so excited for her accomplishments, but feel somewhat envious at the ease she seems to be shedding the pounds. Is life so unfair? ...

No. It doesn't work that way. I actually had to step back and analyze both of our situations and lifestyles. I am NOT trying to lose weight. I mean, I am...but it's so much more than that. I'm trying to change bad habits and make a healthy life change. Losing weight at such a rapid intensity would NOT benefit me. Sure, I could drink a vitamin drink every day for half a year, but how does that teach ME how to eat correctly on my own? Plus, I have two children and my own anatomy has physically changed. If I don't do resistance training and work out harder then I have ever in my life I will look like a nasty saggy bean bag. No thank you. Not what I, myself, am aiming for.

So kudo's to you dear friend for losing your weight, you deserve this. :) You are working hard and cutting the crud out to make yourself healthier and I am proud of you. For me... I am proud of the way I'm doing it as well. Instead of feeling envy, I've learned to feel happiness and still feel proud of my accomplishments too.

Because in the end... through every individual battle we are all going to make it. In the end... no matter how different we execute our goals we are all beautiful.

Comfort Food...

What's your favorite comfort foods? Mine is ... chocolate. Many people in my life have actually mentioned their concerns for me and my chocolate. Apparently I have an addiction. A chocolate addiction. Is it so bad??

Well, yesterday I turned to my chocolate addiction for comfort when I recieved a very scary phone call. To protect the privacy of this loved one I won't divulge names- however my life felt as if it was going to shatter. I began to shake and my stomach turned, and I just melted into a puddle of self pity and tears.

I needed chocolate.

After I got off the phone, slightly hysterical, I called my best friend Rachel. She immediately dropped what she was doing and came over and said a prayer with me. Slightly calmer and actually able to laugh at my son's shinanigans she was able to leave.

And out came the M&M's, animal crackers, and chocolate frosting.

I had myself a feast. Luckily I didn't gain any weight from this horrible binge, but I didn't lose any either. Mostly though, I was able to reason sorrow and doubts in my mind as I kept my taste buds busy.

So no, I'm not proud of my chocolate addiction- But at this moment... I'm pretty thankful for it.

Do you have a favorite comfort food? What about a healthy comfort food suggestion? I can use any help you are able to offer!! :)

It's Party Time...

Guess what guys! .....

I know it's been awhile since I've posted. I've been busy and feeling somewhat boring. How can you write anything sassy and fun when you feel BORRRRING? Well... tis the end of that! I'm proud to announce: I MADE MY THIRD WEIGHT GOAL!!!! :)

My first was to lose 20 pounds. Something I have never done in my entire life.

My second goal weight was to lose 27 pounds- 10% of my body weight.

My third goal (NOW ACHIEVED!!!) was 238- my prepregnancy weight with my first, Aiden.

And as of this morning I'm 238.

The prize? NEED I REMIND YOU???? I've been pining away for this for MONTHS now... I get to have my hair "did!" :) Oh yes... goodbye dirty honey blonde, hello platinum! I will be a force to be reconded with! I mean, isn't that what having little prizes is all about? Making you feel better? THIS will make me feel WAY better!

I mean... can't you see it? A mom of two- hitting the mall like this? No?....

Well... what about this? Well I guess she isn't really blonde so there goes that idea!

Honestly though... I really like the color combination here below:

When I found out I was pregnant with my son my hair was actually done similar to this:

Perhaps I'll combine the photo above with this one below ... Me?

What do you think???

Who Am I?

So I thought I'd blog a little about who I, Nichole, am. As I progress through my journey and keeping up with my blog I am told about new readers and people who may not know ME personally. I'd like to change that a little. For those of you who knew me when I was younger this will update you a little. And family? Heck- it's just fun to learn new facts about our loved ones even if we do know them! ;)

Here goes!:

My name is Nichole Hansen Gaertner.

I have dark blond/ light brown hair. Stupid baby hormones have changed my hair completely.

My eyes are blue/green. Depending on my mood. They normally have more of a turquoise tint to them.

I will be 27 in one month.

I've been married 5 years in November.

I met my husband, Joshua, in April 2005 around his birthday and we were married 7 months later.

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

I have two children- Aiden (3 in December) & Shaylee (14 months) and yes they are 19 months apart!!!

I have one sister, Sylvia. She's 24 and married with one child, my niece Emma. LOVE HER!

My mom is from Germany and she's a hoot!

My dad is retired Army and is 6'5". Yah he was kind of scary growing up! haha...now he's more of a big grandpa teddy bear. :)

I have a hard time just keeping acquaintances. I'm more of a "best friend" type of gal. Along with that- all my sisters (in-laws included) are the bestest friends I could ever have. And according to Fredy Meyer- Rachel O. is now my sister too! lol... inside joke. :)

My favorite color used to be pink. Now it's orange and lime green. A little 70's charm... however NOT vintage. I try not to use both of those colors in one room. :S haha!

I love LOVE love to read, write, and journal.

I was considered a performance expert by my teacher at CWU... which tells you right there I'm very passionate about theatre acting. Having babies made me kick this hobby to the curve for right now.

I never considered myself crafty- but more like artsy. Apparently that's relative. Fat fingers or not I guess I am crafty- sorta. HAHA!

I'm training to run 5 triathlons next summer. I'd even like to run one in my hometown Moses Lake. GO CHIEFS! ...AND Vikings! HAHA!

I have my AA and BA degrees and will work towards my Masters as soon as I get my weight off and my children are in school.

I used to be 6 ft. Then I had a horrible car accident when I turned 20 that jacked my neck up. Now I'm 5'11" on a good day... and much shorter on a bad. :(

I used to sit on my long blond hair. I whacked it off at 19 and have kept it short up until now. When I lose a certain amount of weight that will all change! ;)

I enjoy singing and can read music really well. I have a horrible solo voice though! I'm more of a choir type singer... ack!

I LOVE to roller blade- I'm kind of a nerd that way. I can't wait for the day I can put my fancy in-line skates back on and NOT worry about killing myself. haha!

Sometimes I just enjoy sitting on the couch and watching HGTV. I like First Time Home Buyers and Design on a Dime- Or Designed to Sell. I pretend I'm interior savvy when I know I'm not. hehe!

I'm dyslexic and had learned to overcome it by 3rd grade. I'm worried my children will struggle with this... but know they will come out strong because of my struggle as a child. I am now an exceptional reader however struggle in higher level maths. Mommies don't REALLY have to know calculus anyway, right?

I was kind of dorky in high school. Not the nerdy made fun of type- more the naturalist type. Never wore makeup, never cut my hair, or even pluck my eyebrows. I KNOW- Don't remind me. UGH. That changed when I started my freshman year at BBCC. Everything about my dorky side finally "blossomed" and I actually cared. But please- don't ask me WHY I never wore makeup because the truth is... I have NO idea.

I LOVE makeup! :) From putting my own on to making other women look beautiful. I had thoughts of becoming an aestitition after my BA but then I had both of my children. Oh well... times have changed and now I have new goals.

Josh and I are saving up for our very first..... mini van! Yes I will be another soccer mom and dang PROUD of it!

I always saw myself as a career woman, but LOVE being a stay at home mommy. It's hard but definitely worth it.

I dream of having my very own office filled with books upon books- library style. That would make me happy!

I hate computers. If it would be possible to get along in today's society w/o one I would so be all over that!

I love chick flicks. Never Been Kissed is still one of my favorites.

I LOVE the movie "300!" I was studying video editing when it came out so I justify this movie because of the awesome visual effects.

I am currently watching all of the LOST episodes with my husband. I AM SOOOO ADDICTED!

I hate clothes shopping. Thin or chubby I have never had luck finding cute clothes. Not only am I tall- most of my height is in my torso with long thighs. I HAVE SHORT LEGS though! HAHA!

I can't play sports to save my own soul. I sure try though. GO TEAM! haha!

I love to make people feel good about themselves and to make them laugh. When someone is hurting, it hurts me. I enjoy being with outgoing, even sarcastic personality's the most. Funny thing though is my husband is quiet and easy going. I'm pretty optimistic and definitely loud.

Many people think just by looking at me that I'm 20 or younger. I don't find this to be a compliment because respect tends to be lost in looking younger. Someday I'm sure I'll appreciate it however.

I'm still a spazzy monkey and worry about everything and believe anything that's told to me. Guys found this exciting when I was younger- my husband was no exception!

I hate spiders, mosquito's and mosquito eater flying bugs. YUCK.

I still don't like the dark but have learned to just get over it.

Banana's feel weird.

Pears are gross.

Strawberries make me smile!

My husband has long hair and can put it in a pony tail. This BOTHERS me!!! :S And he knows it!

I love pizza and chocolate. WAIT- I LIVE FOR CHOCOLATE!!!

And finally- last but never least because I love to talk....

I love my family and I love my life. I'm thankful for what the Lord has blessed me and my husband with and look forward to learning and growing more. I look forward to watching my children grow and can't wait to have more.

I hope you enjoyed getting to know me a little better... I know it's long but if I print this off at the end of my weight loss journey I'd like to remember what I was like at 26/27.

Love Nikki

ps. Did I mention I hated computers? I had five other pictures that kept deleting. Grr. Sorry mom and schwester- I tried!!! :(

Totally Worth it!

Dear Friends and family!!! Technically today is supposed to be my "Friday Loves" post, but I wasn't feeling it. Why? Well... let me tell you!

After weeks and weeks, months and even worse- months I have FINALLY broken through and got UNDER 240 pounds!!! This morning I weighed 239. This is my official 30 pounds lost mark. Phew! Talk about a struggle! I have never felt such an inner battle before. I mean sure we all have our own personal, even daily struggles. Losing weight the healthy way has definitly been the wierdest, however most rewarding experience I have EVER had. Although I have only concerqued 1/3rd of the way- I know I will come out on top. How long it'll take is a different story all together! ;)

Secret Society Ninja's!

Every Monday for the last three weeks I've been going to a "secret" ab class. This isn't an everyday workout class however. Oh no! This ab class is actually training to becoming secret NINJA'S! We're being created to fight the evil forces of chocolate, chips, and yes... even soda pop! You better believe it too- I will kick, scratch, and karate chop every piece of deluctible fattening goodies... someday. I will continue to go to these classes and I will conquer! ;) I'm sure you'll all hear about on the news soon.

Headline:

"Crazy mother arrested for karate chopping Cheeto Puff's bag in store...."

Yah- lets hope I don't go too overboard!

Honestly though I am sitting here feeling as if I've been kicked in my kidney's and lower gut. Apparently kicking a boxing sandbag and using a medicine ball on either side of the your body while sitting in a "v" position really does work your abs. Who'd a guess. Not the fat girl sitting on the couch eating a box of cookies reading a good book. I was close to being that girl a year ago. Six months later I'm probably the fittest big chick you'll ever meet! HA! Maybe not, but I'm getting pretty close!

Have you ever tried the Jillian Michaels Yoga dvd? I bought it when I first started this "workout/ loose weight" kick and I have to tell you I looked pretty pathetic. Puffing trying to do a lunge, falling over at any thing that took balance. It was a sad sight for sore eyes. Well! Thursday I made Rachel do it with me for the first time in about five months. I was so astonished how much 29 pounds really makes! I was actually able to complete most of the moves. What a great feeling. One workout dvd accomplished- to a point... only INSANITY left to go. HA!

I'm thinking about posting a video of me attempting some of the workouts. It'll be hilarious but very humbling... what do you think??? haha!

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Have you found any healthy tips or snacks? Want to share?

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