A Reminder... For the New Year...

I know I won't finish this post tonight before I completely zonk out for bed. I just may fall asleep here as I am typing this to you... but I felt it was important for myself to write how I am feeling. right. now.

Tomorrow I start the paleo diet... or rather in 50 minutes. I am really looking forward to it for only one reason. I will go into that more thoroughly in a moment.

This moment, as I am sitting here typing this I am sick. My stomach feels fat and bloated and over all just not healthy.

I'm dizzy and feeling jittery.

I almost feel as if I am going to pass out.

I have that horrible bile feeling rising up in the back of my throat- and I'm getting the cold sweats. You know the feeling, right before you vomit.

And here's the kicker- I am not sick.

Not in a contagious way anyway.

I am sugar crashing. HARD.

For some reason I thought it would be so much fun to binge and eat as much as I could and get all the munchies "out" of my system- enjoy the junk before I pack it away.

WELL GOOD GRACIOUS... WHY DID I DO THAT?

Now I'm just SICK. And fat. And totally gross feeling.

UGH.... So this is me REMINDING myself WHY I decided to go paleo in January for 30 days.

It's to get THIS nasty feeling OUT of my system. I need to PURGE these cravings and detox from everything I yearn for but everything my body revolts against. I need to take back what is mine, and that is not just my body- but also my will power.

I am so TIRED of feeling out of control. Believe it or not folks... just because you lose a lot of weight does NOT mean the journey is over. My journey is FAR from over. I hit some hiccups in the road that actually extended my journey out even farther and so here I proclaim it:

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

Take CONTROL Nichole. Take ACTION Nichole. THIS IS YOUR BODY.

THIS IS MY BODY.

And so in now 42 minutes- I will begin a new chapter in my journey... and I will document it for all to read about. I may do a vlog towards the end- all of my camera's are dead right now. (HAHA- GO FIGURE EH? Not like I'm not a photographer or anything?)

So here are my stats- please don't judge as it is honestly harder to put up that I have gained then it was to initially say how large I started out at.

Paleo Diet Stats BEFORE::

230 POUNDS
6 ft.
Size 16/18
Work out stamina: medium although I feel super sore more often then I had when doing Insanity. Definitely not as fit as I was one month ago. :/

I will take pictures- but won't show those until I have after's.... for obvious "I'm still a girl with some pride" reasons... HAHA!

Thanks for taking this journey with me. I will need all the support I can get!
Love Nichole

Ps. I totally finished my post in time! :) haha!

My Vomit-inducing Meal Plan...

Yesterday I had a problem that I never thought I would have. Ever. I struggled eating ENOUGH calories! What, say what? Yes I know. How could someone who LOVES to eat... not have enough to eat?

Well here's the deal. I am also now a nursing mom of a 11 week old. I need to amp this business up or I am going to stop producing milk for her.

So anyway, yesterday I sat down on my "My Fitness Pal" and recorded my last few pieces of food into my food journal and my jaw dropped. I had only eaten 1100 calories in the entire day. Thinking back I knew that I had spilled half of a protein shake in my van (wah wah... bad move!) and had substituted out my hard boiled egg for plain oatmeal with fresh strawberries. Can I add that substituting out my proteins for some carbs was also a HORRIBLE move! I could literally feel the oatmeal eating a hole from the inside of my stomach, creating a path straight to my butt. No joke. Due to this new highway to my butt, I really need to get these cravings under control. The only way to do that is to cut out the carbs as much as I can this first week. That said, because I nurse I need to make sure I am eating at LEAST 1800 calories every day.

So here are what my meals are supposed to consist of (and due to the nightmares I had of big macs and whoppers coming to invade my body, I will make SURE to eat all of my nasty-liscious shakes!)::

Every morning I wake up and have a frozen berry, peanut butter and whey protein shake.

As the day moves on I am supposed to have three more of these without peanut butter.

I say "supposed to" because HOLY STARS these get disgusting REALLY fast! 

These are some of my favorite snacks right now.

My house also smells like it is in a constant state of bad gas.

By that, I do mean farts.

Have you ever noticed how HORRIBLE hard boiled eggs smell?

Well let me assure you, it IS the eggs and NOT me!

(Add about a quarter of the package of ranch seasoning to a pound or more

of non-fat cottage cheese, and you get a pretty incredible high in protein dip/

salad dressing.)

This was my lunch today. Believe it or not, it was 300 calories.

Very high in protein, very low in carbs...

 and just the right amount of fat to help with nursing!

(Don't worry... I am only eating this way this week. I realize it looks weak

and if I start feeling as if my stomach is crawling outside of my body through my

throat in search of more food... I will adhere to its call!)

Also, lets not forget how stuffed I am from those DISGUSTING shakes.

I might have just said that with a British accent. You will never know. 

And for todays special!

EUW!!!!!

Haha! Actually the truth is... I look forward to my lean cuisines after the gym.

Some of you may hate them, but they aint too shabby on a hungry stomach!

 

Well. There you have it. Pretty much what I have been surving on all week. I guess that explains why I only ended the day with 1300 calories last night. (I had some carrots and cottage cheese, and another egg to increase my caloric intake.) Nothing on here looks THAT good that I am just JUMPING to overeat some more. Is that the point of this first week? Yup. I think so.

Good. Then it's working.

Starting Over...

Hello hello my dear readers. And so it has began... and I can hardly move my arms to type this due to HARDCORE working out! :) Yesterday my husband and I weighed in with some new freinds to start off a Spring weight-loss/ lifestyle change contest. Can I tell you a secret? I think I might have punched the scale. I mean... it had to be off right? There's NO WAY I'm back at where I started again. Just no way.

Well, alas it is the sad truth. I have to start over. I know some of you are probably thinking, "eh... no biggie, you know you can do it."

While other's are probably thinking, "YOU IDIOT! How could you do that to yourself again?!!!"

And then there are those who are with me in thinking, "HOLY CRAP BATMAN. I have to do THAT all over again??!" Boy am I in for a ride. *insert face palm here*

Last year I got down to 234.

Right now I'm at *cough* (I will divulge in a week... lets just say I AM starting over.)

And lets add that HOODIES are NOT my friend right now...

My husband is coming along for the ride this time too!

This makes me happy since I am the one that kept bringing home the junk for him

to eat right along with me. :( Poor guy!

 This is where I used to be:

But this is where I want to be (a little more rounded out and soft, just like

the hubs likes it! haha!)

And this is where Josh and I will be together at the end of this!:

I love my family. I adore my children. And I love my new home. With all of that I still fight the war against over-eating. I scoff at people who try to tell me how to fight it... when they have never been there themselves. It is a fight I will have for the rest of my life. But I want to have that life... and so I will sacrifice this year of yummy pleasure eating to a torment of hell in the gym and nasty tasting food that will kill the taste buds, so that my children will have a mom AND dad as they grow. (Whew! That was a terrible run-on sentence, wasn't it?)Because... aren't  my children worth it?

Wasn't she worth all the weight in the World?

...And aren't Josh and I worth it?

I would like to think so...

So come along for the ride because it is going to be a rough one full of silly moments and terrible disappointments. It will also be full of triumph and friendships that are tested...  and I can use ALL the encouragement that is out there.

Because aren't we all beautiful? 

Traithlon Training ...

Triathlon Training in the North Seattle Metro Area

Yesterday I went to the triathlon training with other's

that are part of Experience Momentum.

Holy cow! We swam a quarter mile straight through- no stops.

Last time I swam a quarter mile I had two resting points...

Did I mention I swam/ kicked 1/2 mile the day before?!

It's pretty safe to say my body is extremely exhausted.

Picture Below:

Rachel and I before we know what we are doing.

I'm the only nut who didn't wear a wet suit.

Was I crazy? Quite possibly... The water was F.R.E.E.Z.I.N.G...

Remember how Rachel is a power house?

After the quarter mile swim.

I'm not quite ready to have full body shots in a bathing suit yet...

So no in the water shots- sorry guys! haha!

After I pulled off the swim cap it tore out and broke off all my little hairs! *pain!

I tried 7 stores yesterday to find a one piece bathing suit.

Can you believe that in 7 stores the only plus size bathing suits I found were

TWO PIECES?

What fat girl is going to wear a two piece? Or should I say what MOM is going to?

I'd like to keep the saggy belly in- thanks. :S

The only one I found in my entire city was at R.E.I. and has NO support.

It's a racing/ triathlon suit so I'm not complaining tooo much- however it wasn't CHEAP!

$86.00 including tax.

My husband was NOT pleased... hopefully it'll fit better next summer?!?

Because it's a racing suit and I'm quite endowed there were some "issues"

while I was swimming.

It was quite embarrasing. I think I need to find a new sports bra-

or I'll HAVE to wear a wet suit.

Picture Below:

Remember- No support in bathing suit= chubby looking mama!

Before the bike ride home.

And I'm off!...

And as of 10:30 this morning...

this is what I still look like!


I'm just a little worn out!

My Internet is Such a Web Hog!

Sorry guys so Friday Loves this week. My internet provider is messing up our connection somehow. I suspect my lovely upstair neighbors of hacking into my blog and laughing at my wonderful fatness. Ok... not really! HAHA!

I'm off to my fat-club meeting!

10 Year Picture

Tomorrow is my second meeting for the "Everybody Wins" fat burning contest that I joined. I can tell you now that I don't think I'll win this one. Sad for me but this isn't really what it's all about.

Before I go to this meeting I wanted to "do" my homework. Last Thursday we were asked to draw a picture of where we would like to see ourselves in ten years. I thought about this through out the week, and I think I may have a pretty good picture.

Just to forewarn you, some of the things I've thought of may seem silly, other's weird, and yet some even weirder. My picture, right? Right.

*Also I jump from third to first person. I know it's breaking the rules, but rules are meant to be broken if you understand why they're there in the first place. I hope it isn't too annoying and you see how I'm using these points of view to tell my story.

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Picture a mother. Tall and thin- YES! I can say this because I will be thin and remain thin ... and it's what?! Oh yah- my dream! Continuing on...

This mother is sitting with her arms folded and her head bent. She's in a skirt, teacup style that comes just below her knees. To the right of her is an eleven year old girl giggling quietly trying to be reverent herself. She too is dressed up; however she's in a pretty purple dress with her hair in a chick pony tail. The mother looks up and gives her daughter, Shaylee the look. Immediately Shaylee casts her eyes down and covers her mouth.

Infront of Shaylee and I sits my 12 year old son on a chair facing me and our close loved ones. So handsome he looks with his gelled hair and new black suit from Sears. He's smiling with great anticipation. Today is the day he becomes a priesthood holder. With the help of me and his daddy, whom is standing behind him placing his hands upon Aiden's head, he has grown to be a worthy young man. He is now ready for more repsonsibility. A tear escapes and slides down my cheek.

Now fast forward to a Friday, after school. I've just pulled into the ...hmmm? Elementary school? Wait... 6th grade is now middle school isn't it? Ok ... I've just pulled into the Middle School parking lot with my 2020 HUMMER (shush! My dream- and at least I didn't make it a flying Hummer! HAHA!) I step out of my super cool car with a sway to my hips. A sway that comes naturally I might add! ;) The bell rings and out run hundreds of derranged and excited pre-teens charging their way through the doors, pushing and shoving.

"Hey Mom!" Yells Shaylee coming at me from the left and from the right yells Aiden, "SHOT GUN!!!!"

"Great!" I think rounding up my two monkey's and hearding them back to my fly Hummer. Now to pick up my two younger monsters from the 2nd and 4th grades. (I kind of have to leave this thought open ended seeing as I don't actually HAVE two other children...)

So here are just some other things I'm anticipating:
-the "talk" with both of my children
-puberty. Yes believe it or not I want to see my children grow from awkward adolescence into beautiful people. I don't want to just imagine it, I want to live it.
-girl talk
-sports
-plays
-shopping
-sleepovers
-awkward questions
-MORE CHILDREN!
-Josh and I playing sports with our children
-Josh and I having our 10 year anniversary

I want to own our own home somewhere back in the Columbia Basin. I want to be a part of the PTA and volunteer in my kids classrooms. I want to be the "cool" mom that takes the kids out in the wee hours for goodies.

But most of all... I want to be there. I want to be alive. I want to be healthy and strong. I want to enjoy life with my children. I want to have the good and the bad, just as long as I'm the one that gets to experience it. I want to be happy...

... And the only way I'll get there is by getting this weight off. Heart disease runs through the women on my mom's side of the family. Infact it's a lot closer to "home" than most of us even realize. I don't want to be next, but it's definitly a real possibility if I allow myself to continue indulging in my "crack," ... also known as junk food.

Now that I have drawn my picture, I find I have an actual destination where I'd like my life to go. Once I've met either some or all of my goals I will sit down and once again draw a new picture for myself and my family.

I hope you all do the same as well.

Week 14 Weigh-in ... a little late!

On Monday after Dan did my weigh-in I had Josh take some pictures of me to post on here. I'm was super excited to have more accurate photo's showing the "change" my body has begun to go through. (No I'm not speaking menopause- I'm only 26! C'mon people! haha!) If you noticed I wrote that past-tense- was excited. YUP. That's because the pictures were taken on my camera's memory instead of our memory card. Apparenty SOMEBODY forgot to push it in all the way ...hmmm... ?!

Well, sad story short I lost the cord that connects my camera to a computer so I'll have to figure something else out. I may have to take pictures again this Monday. *sniff sniff*

So now that I'm getting ready to have my week 15 weigh-in I should definitly get these results posted for all to see.

Was: 247
Now: 246

Goal weight (changed!): 180 (used to be 169 but my body fat percentage has changed so drastically in the last three months it wouldn't be practical (or healthy) for me to go any lower than 180 lbs.)

Leaving me: 66 pounds to go!!! YAY!
Total pounds lost: 23
Total fat lost: 29 lbs. Woo hoo!

NECK: stayed the same (14.25)
CHEST: stayed the same (45.5)
UPPER ARM: stayed the same (13.25)
LOWER ARM: stayed the same (10.25)

Big changes? I know right?! It WAS 4th of July weekend and I was retaining water from chips that I splurged on. According to my numbers I was retaining 2-3 pounds of water.

BUT WAIT!- WHAT IS THIS I SEE????...........

UPPER WAIST: 38.0 in. (.75 in. lost) Started at: 42 in. (these ARE ribs right??? haha!)
LOWER WAIST: 41.75 in. (1 full inch lost!) Started at: 46.5 in. (I've lost 4.5 in. total ...)
HIPS: 49.0 in. (.25 in. lost) Started at: 52.25 in.
THIGH: stayed the same (23.5)
CALF: 16.5 (.25 in. lost) Started at: 17.5 in.

So there you have it! I lost A LOT off of my torso area. I'm super excited about this and hope this weeks weigh-in shows good numbers too.

Oh- and I have to leave you with something. No bathroom humor this time- sorry guys! :)

Meet Cathie Jung (born 1937) with the World's smallest waist! I wonder if this is what I look like? HAHA!- OK... Hopefully I DO NO look like this because ... not to be mean ... she looks like an ant! To see more pictures of Jung click www.funnyphotos.net.au/thin-waist/

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Side note:

I joined a Get Fit contest with Dan's gym. It started last week and today is our second meeting. The contest ends in September and the prizes seem pretty exciting.

According to my weigh in there I'm now at 39.2% body fat. I don't think I ever posted this but I started out at 50.5% body fat. WHAT A HUGE LOSS! Or should I say gain? Because I've gained that much muscle! I may still have large numbers on the scale but I'm healthier now than I was when I weighed this after I had my son 2.5 years ago!

So cheer me on and hopefully this new motivation will get me some free gym workouts! :)