Any Takers? ;)

It's official. I am done with my training, and I am a little sad. LOL! I never thought I liked being told what to do- but when it comes to working out... tell me more baby! I really need that push and shove every now and then. :)

On the last day of our work out I was telling Mark how much I loved my legs. I do! They look so great and I can't take any credit. It was all EM! (Experience Momentum gym...) The only downside?

I am completely top heavy now!

Can you guess what I look like right now?

Let me give you a hint. My sister-in-law and I used to call ourselves this while we rode our bikes...

Still no idea?

I look like a walking...

DILLY BAR.

*Anyone willing to cough up another $400.00 for me? I need to get the rest of my body in control! HAHA!

No takers?

OKAY OKAY.

Here's my plan of action (because you all know if I don't have a game plan... nothing happens!)

-meal planning (I fell off the band wagon but have been doing okay with cutting sweets out. I only allow myself a treat every once in awhile.)

-work out daily. (My doctor told me I need to start working out ever day to get my body out of this plateau... HA. We shall see...)

*Monday: Jogging/ Leg workout (for my hip injury)/Abs

*Tuesday: Arm resistance training (free weights)/ half mile swim

*Wednesday: Jogging/ Abs

*Thursday: Leg workout/ half mile swim

*Friday: Arms/Jogging

*Saturday: Leg work out/ Abs

*Sunday: Rest

I will aim hard and report my successes and failures. I'm really looking forward to feeling WHOLE again and not huge. Even though there is "more of me to love" I'm not complete because I am not me. This has been the most difficult struggle I have ever taken on but I know that I can do it... because according to my newest philosophy and everything I have been preaching: I AM BEAUTIFUL.

And so are you!

And yes... I realize how Korney that sounds! ;) Just go with it!

A Little Sad ...

So if you have been following my blog then you know the wonderful health situation my family has been in this Winter season. My daughter recently got over an ear infection, and I two months ago did as well. Well today it was confirmed that once again I have another ear infection along with another sinus infection. To add on top of that my son has an ear infection too. :( Can I say that I have had it with these VIRUS'! HAD IT I TELL YOU!

So here's the scoop on what has been plaguing my mind as of late...

I have been feeling nauseous and extremely fatigued these last two weeks. Every day it seemed to get worst. I'm usually pretty in tune with my body and what is going on. I was SURE that I was pregnant. All the emotions of wondering if I am pregnant or not ran through my mind rampantly. I was excited, nervous, frustrated, and more excited. Is it silly for me to have felt frustrated? I have so much more weight to loose and I really wanted to have the chance at having a healthy normal pregnancy. The thought of gaining all that weight back already was heart breaking to me. But of course the idea of having another little chubby bundle to love and adore completely out weighed the frustrations I felt.

When I was at the doctors office I explained all of my symptoms and illnesses that I have been gifted with and they ordered a pregnancy test. I realized at that moment that I hoped with all hope that I WAS. How disappointing it was to learn that my symptoms were related to these silly infections ravaging my entire head. :(

I guess that gives me more time to lose some weight before I am gifted with another child to love... and I hopefully can take advantage of the second chance allotted to me. But I can't help but wonder what the good Lord has in store for me.

I hope it isn't any more head colds. ;)

Love Nichole

Bruised, Swollen, and a Little Blue

How have you all been fairing this Winter/ Spring season? I have had one cold AFTER another. I kid you not, I have been sick now for three months. Do you know what that does to a person emotionally? It's exhausting. Hence me not keeping up lately as well as I have in the past with this blog. But let me tell you something! Even though I haven't done as well with my blog as I had hoped I would be... I have been doing GREAT in the exercise department. It has been hard but it has been OH SO worth it!

Something I have noticed about myself is that when I work out hard enough to feel as if I have to vomit and get super uber sweaty I CRAVE the work out the next day. It's so weird. The down side is that very next day when I am craving to work out I usually can't even walk to the door! HAHA! Hows that for a double edge sword?

Yesterday I had my training, my last hard work out with Mark, and I was SO exhausted. It was pretty hardcore.

Well- as hardcore as it can get while standing on one leg while trying to balance backwards and forwards WHILE standing on a wedge. I have NO balance and have been complimented on my ballerina-esque gracefulness before. It is quite the spectacle. :) *MAN DOWN* tends to be the phrase used most often when I am around. And not because I fell... but because I fell and completely smothered Mark. HAHA!

Not quite, but close. :)

After my work out I went running with my friend Karena. This is the second time I've gone out and jogged since I hurt myself in basketball months ago. My shins are pretty exhausted. By that I mean done. They have decided to pack it in and just not function today. Luckily I think it's more muscle soreness than shin splints, but it still hurts.

So tonight I go swimming. My bestie Rachel has some drills from our tri coach last summer that we'll work on.

I hope I don't drown! :)

Love Nikki
ps. Isn't that picture just NASTY? Thankfully those are NOT my feet! LOL!

Black and Yellow...

So there's this song out called BLACK AND YELLOW. My sister burned me a cd with a bunch of catchy hip hop and rock songs on it to get my blood boiling for workouts. Let me tell you... as I was driving to my PT session at EM and this song came on, my new mini van must have been bouncing all over the road. I think I worked out harder in the car dancing to this then I ever have at the gym!

haha!

Okay... not really. But I did enjoy this bumping song! I don't care for the colors/ teams but I definitely do enjoy a good song to get me amped for a work out.

That said I was on a stationary bike getting warmed up and my PT Mark walks up behind me and grabs my Ipod. What does he see? Korn and Limp Bizcuit. Oh goodness.

I think perhaps I need to change up my style a little?

Or perhaps take this caged up hidden aggression and start jogging again!

That's right folks... I only have three more sessions and I am feeling A-MAZING! I just might be able to get this body back into shape to start training for a triathlon again. Or.... just training. :) We all know that training and me definitely end in tortoreous pain so I'll take it easy.

I am excited though, to put on more of that BLACK AND YELLOW and hit the pavement again! I will be the oddest looking runner you have ever seen yet!

Love Me!

ps. I just looked up some images to put up with my blog just now... and am NOT impressed with who sings this song. *gag*

Itchy Itchy Eyeballs...

MAN. This has been one of those weeks that could quite possibly test anyone's faith. I'm pretty sure I have a sinus infection and pink eye in both eyes. I know. It's pretty darn sexy if you ask me. I look like a rat.

The one positive side? I'm pretty sure my eyes are considered Emerald. The pink makes them stand out more.

Rarr baby rarr!

:) Seriously though yesterday's work out was pretty rough on me. It felt like I was breaking my foot or spraining my ankle. I love that my foot is so messed up that walking normally on it feels WRONG! But honestly the work out really felt amazing!

By the time I left the gym Mark had saran wrapped a big bag of ice to my foot. I had to hop up a hill and 6 stairs just to get to the van.

I'm sure I looked like the poster girl for their business.

Good luck guys!!! :)

A Smelly Quirk...

Working out with Mark over at EM has been incredible. Not only am I feeling better physically, I'm feeling pretty freaking great emotionally too! It has been quite the blessing.

I do however have an embarrassing admission! Everybody has quirks about them that make them unique. I have many quirks but the biggest quirk that seems to be ruling my life right now is smelling good.

Now this doesn't sound as horrible as it actually may be. When I work out I tend to sweat profusely. That doesn't mean I smell like horrible dirty sweat, but it does mean I become uber paranoid that I do! So before every work out in public I slather myself in lotion and use body sprays and good smelling medicated deodorant. Yah, I told you I'm a little crazy.

Well... something happened on Tuesday that may have CURED me of my obsession. Have you ever been in a situation where there are only five people around and someone ELSE passes gas? And YOU know you didn't do it... but what if everyone else thought it WAS you? Well... embarrassing as it was and is to admit this exact thing happened to me.

Mark had me on some stretching cage contraption where he had to climb all over behind me to help manipulate my hips in order to get a good stretch in. And then the forsaken smell hit me. OH GOSH. I started to smirk a little- yes I still act like a grade schooler when someone else farts in public- but then... THEN I realized how bad it looked ON ME! I was the one stretching funky and the smell by now had gotten soo RAUNCHY I had to start breathing out of my mouth to keep from gagging. If I was asked to describe it the only thing I could say is rotten eggs with a little sickness backing it up. HAHA- Oops. I guess I did just describe it.

My apologies!

Anyway, the entire time I was working out desperately trying to not TASTE this horrible stench I was purple faced and paranoid that everyone would think it was me.

And because of the shade of my face, I'm pretty sure everyone thought it was me. So there goes my good smelling re pore. I guess I don't have to shower, slather, spray, and deodorize before every exercise anymore.

Thank goodness!

The Little Voice in my Head...

Like I said in my last post I was going to read through the book, "Just 10 Lbs" and keep a sort of journal as I chug along. I'm a very critical reader (a sorry fault of mine) so don't take what I have to say as gospel (good or bad) because you may miss out on something that could really benefit you! We're all very different people with different experiences and beliefs. This review is just one person's opinion. I hope you take the time to make one for yourself. :)

Reading through the book I have found a lot of solace in several sections that I have read. The author Brad Lamm came up with 10 steps to help the "overeater" overcome and conquer this horrible battle. They include:

1: Live the Love Centered Diet.

2: Start a Moving Meditation.

3: Develop a Daily Practice.

4: Appreciate Your Body.

5: Love Yourself Thin.

6: Maintain Loving Connections.

7. Eliminate Excuses

8. Examine Your Battleground Beliefs

9. Connect with Higher-Source Thinking

and step 10: Pay it Forward.

In the first section you learn, "you are how you eat" and even get to take a test to learn what kind of eater you are. I am the EMOTIONAL eater.

Of course I already knew this.

When you find yourself eating because you are lonely, bored, happy, sad, and/or angry you KNOW that you have a bad relationship with food. It's the facing it head on and breaking free from the mental bondage that is hard. Lamm is adament that repeating healthy and good words of affirmation are important to healing yourself. Surprisingly enough I actually like this.

Yesterday I took the time to practice what I read and sat on my bed for a couple of minutes to just meditate and appreciate the life that I have. I then repeated to myself that "I am beautiful" and other phrases that are more personal to me.

When I was done I looked up into the mirror and actually saw beauty there, and it was peaceful. I haven't felt pretty or beautiful in awhile. The disease is a BIG voice in my head that tells me every day that I am not worth anything. This voice tells me when I do mess up and eat something I shouldn't that I always knew I couldn't do it. That I might as well continue to eat anyway because nothing I do or say will fix me.

THIS VOICE IN MY HEAD IS WRONG.

Something I've learned recently in an interview with my church leader, my Bishop, is that I (and every one of you) are all divine children of Heavenly Father. Of course I've grown up hearing those words every Sunday and Wednesday but never really listened to those words. Heavenly Father made us in his image- therefore I can't be ugly. How can I hate something that our Lord created? And most importantly, that voice in my head? That's satan. That voice in my head is the devil trying to make be believe I am less than what I really am... a daughter of God.

Now when I read in the book that I should take some time every morning to repeat words of affirmation, chant and pray I actually ROLLED my eyes. Can you see me now CHANTING in my bedroom? That just sounds a little- whacko?! Not me AT all. But I continued reading and really can appreciate the wisdom behind it. I will take it upon me to say prayers in the morning asking for help every day, and I will continue to repeat to myself how amazing I am. And soon will walk tall with truth behind my gait instead of the quite hatred I've held in my heart.

I will also promise, however, that you will NOT be hearing me chant any time soon. I just might die falling off the bed convulsing in laughter. :) And that can't be healthy either... haha!

The next section I've started is Appreciate Your Body. I have a lot to learn and I'm excited to have found this book... because for someone who has been on this journey for almost a year- I still have a LONG way to go.

And I hope you take that journey with me.

Love Nichole